bittersweet
2023
I long to live a life full of joy and comfort. I started this project in response to the constant negativity that filled my domestic life. Halfway through this project I was diagnosed with depression.
Bittersweet is a visual diary of the way I see the world, a self-portrait of myself reflected in nature. I had always found comfort in nature however, more recently I can’t help but almost resent it. With new climate issues surfacing every day, the future of the world is uncertain. The once idyllic landscapes now seem dull and pitiful. Something that once filled me with joy now fuels a forlorn spirit. Just as my life is out of control so is nature itself. Climate disruption is a mirror of the domestic disruptions that occur in my life.
This series features prints on rice paper, wood block templates, and a video. All of my source materials come from nature; they have been abstracted to reflect the transitory state of the earth. Just as everything in nature is changing, my own identity feels like it is changing as well. The choice to abstract the images by stamping them away was a process that reflected how nature is changing not only for myself but also the world. My materials reflect this fact: the rice paper is fragile and easy to damage, the ink on the wood blocks will fade over time until it disappears, and the video is in slow motion and projected on the wall, in the light, which obscures the imagery.
The world feels abstract, nature feels chaotic and not whole. Bittersweet allowed myself to temporarily push away the disturbances around me. I have been able to unbottle these emotions and present them in my work.